Hello friends!
I’ve just had a birthday, I’m 27, now officially in my “late” twenties. It’s funny though, because some days mentally I’m still 19 trying to get life held together with duct tape and caffeine, and I don’t think those feelings are going away any time soon.
But it’s got me thinking, what did I learn during the last year? What lessons did I get this year that I hadn’t fully grasped before? What lessons am I still learning? Am I on track for a twenty something or am I about to out myself as a total goof up? Who knows?
Thing is, I went into 26 with the goal of getting it together more. Not being a superwoman or anything, but I wanted to stop reacting and start taking charge, and not just existing to survive. I got in that habit when Mom was first sick, but I wanted to actually put constructive input into my life now that things are more settled. Done feeling like life just happens, ya know? I think I got there, or at least, I am learning to.
Exercise sucks, but it can suck a lot less, and is important
I despise exercising. I love moving my body to be clear. Farm chores? Mostly fun. Working with my horses? Exceptional, 10/10. Walking with my camera? Lovely way to spend a morning. Doing a weight circuit to pop music? Death. Death and torture and probably a violation of some part of the Geneva convention. So, how do I do the whole “get active” thing?
Solid question. Not a clue usually. But I’ve recently realized 90% of why I hate exercising is because it’s not fun, generally there’s not a lot of modifications for injuries (which I usually have), I usually don’t have the particular skill set, space, or equipment for the exercise, and I don’t often have time. Plus, when I do, I don’t wanna lift weights or run (if I’m running, you should be too, because that means things have gone horribly wrong). So, like most computer nerds when faced with a problem, I’ve taken to the world wide web, and basically started creating a collection of fun, non-traditional workouts to pick from when I don’t want to exercise. And I’m allowing myself to suck at them. Ballet for adult beginners? Sure, I’ll look like an angry flailing spaghetti, but why not? Pilates? Not a clue what that is but I can do plank variations for 5 minutes, sure. Jump roping? Okay, admittedly my knees hated this but I tried and it was fun!
Point is, it never occurred to me that there’s a million ways to move and get fit without raising a dumbbell over my head forty two thousand times while listening to Uptown Funk (not that there’s actually anything wrong with Uptown Funk). My mom’s Zumba classes when we were kids suddenly made sense. Plus, it really does feel good to get that workout in, as disgusting as that sounds. I do actually see the difference, and I like being stronger and not getting winded going up my driveway. So, if, like me, you haven’t considered alternatives and also hate the very concept of a kettlebell, I suggest finding your zumba. And if you have a cool work out thing, share with me!! I wanna know!
Rest looks different at different times and on different bodies.
Yall, does anyone here meditate? I’ve tried, because, see, I’m not only the oldest kid born of two oldest kids, I’m a pretty anxious, uptight person just in general, so that running dialog of thoughts and responsibilites never, ever stops. Anyways, I’ve been told for a long time that sitting quietly with your thoughts is the best way to quiet a mind and you know what? NOPE. At least, not for me. I cannot sit still or be calm long enough to even get to the quiet. It’s not calming, it’s stressful!
So, what do you do when you can’t relax, like, ever? Burn yourself out and assume that’s just life? Yea, same.
NO. Guess what my latest epiphany was about? Rest! No, seriously. I, for reasons unknown to anyone but God, picked up painting again for the first time in years. And the brain went quiet. Quiet in a way that usually only happens when I’m working with my ponies. So, then, tell me why I don’t paint all the time?
Because for too long I assumed I was only resting if I was still, so I didn’t prioritize those kinds of hobbies. The idea that if I am too tired to be productive, I’m too tired to do hobbies. But let me tell you, twenty minutes of creativity is way more restful and restorative than twenty minutes of stressing out while sitting still. So, now, I’m trying to pay attention to the things that bring peace, and prioritize them during my rest time, instead of trying to force the quiet. Sometimes rest is a 30 minute walk in nature, or painting a little illustration, or even playing video games with my little brother and dad (we’re a Minecraft household).
You cannot change how someone feels about you, and its useless to stress about it
Okay, real talk, I may never truly learn this one. I take things too personally. I had a situation at work, it wasn’t a big deal, someone told some fibs, we sorted it out, but it led to people being in my business a lot more for a while. And I’ve realized recently, even though I was proven completely not at fault, my boss still feels the need to “check in”. There’s now that teeny little kernel of “what if”. I’ve been feeling really hurt about it, because I don’t feel that I earned this lack of trust, but it occurred to me recently that I can’t fix it, so why am I letting it bother me? My boss has to find that trust and comfort level on his own again, and if he’s worried, that’s his to sort out. I can’t force someone to draw the conclusions about me that I want, I just have to live my best, and hope they see that. Not just at work either, I mean in life in general. I’d do better to remember that more often, someone’s view of me doesn’t say everything about me. If anyone has tips for that, I am all ears.
Your todo list shouldn’t rule your life
I’m so bad at this. I like checking things off, and I have a million little things that get lost if I don’t write them down. But, let me tell you, if I am not watching it, that little list will rule the roost. I can’t tell you how many times I’ll start stressing about finishing my to-do list before I can eat or go to bed or just chill for a few and about 98% of the time, the things on that list are not, in fact, that pressing. The amount of times something feels like the end of the world, gets pushed off, and eventually stops even mattering without getting resolved should prove this. Heck, this very blog can become a pressing issue on the to-do list, when realistically I know that you all will understand if the post is late or the gallery is smaller on any given week.
It can also convince you that you can’t remember things, or that things don’t matter if they aren’t on the list. If you are starting to rely on your list so heavily it’s the first thing you think about when you wake up, time to drop it. I’m not joking, about once a quarter I take a week and don’t use a to-do list. I find it tells me what things I have made a habit and dont need to stress about, it helps reset my brain a little, and it’s easier to spot the danglers… things that need to live elsewhere because they just keep dangling off the end of the list. IT also ensures I am not prioritizing “do things” over actually achieving goals, or putting the dang list before family and friends.
Visit your family on a whim.
Now, obviously, this one comes with the caveat that I mean your family in the sense of “people who are important to you” not, like, an abusive parent or mean aunt kinda thing. But I try to visit my elders especially every so often and it’s paid off every time in love and fun stories, but more often than not, you can also help them with something. I stopped in not too long ago on a whim and it turned out my great aunt needed help with her printer. Made her day that I could visit and help, made mine that I was able to see them and ease the load a little. I stopped in to see my grandma this last week, brought some grocery store brownies and an intent to surprise her, and it had turned out she was almost in tears over a plumbing issue. I was able to help with the plumber, and as we all know, chocolate is a great mood improvement food.
I guess what I am getting at is, make sure to take care of your clan, especially those that can be isolated accidentally due to limited abilities and such. Make sure to take the time with your loved ones, not only will it bless you, it may end up blessing them, and it’s never time wasted.
Anyways, what lessons have you learned in the last year? What are your new birthday goals? I don’t know what mine are yet, still trying to figure out who I wanna be next year. But I think they will be things like, smell the roses, take care of yourself, laugh more, that kinda thing.
Until we chat again my friends!
The Farmer's Blogger 